Have you ever wanted someone to make a school gaming simulator that embodies our education system? Well look no further with Subaltern Games latest gaming venture No Pineapple Left Behind that will have you constantly pursuing ways “to create the perfect student body.”
In No Pineapple Left Behind, you assume the role of principal to manage the staff, students, finances, create curriculum, deal with parents, and create wonderful test takers to keep the school funded. Instead of regular human children, you will be watching over wonderful studious pineapples that have been cursed by an evil witch. But be careful because those pineapples don’t stay put for long as they turn into troublesome children which can be hard to maintain during test time.
Now why pineapples you ask? Well if you’ve ever taken a standardized test, you’ll understand that sometimes the questions on these tests are quite ridiculous and on one particular exam involving pineapples back in 2012 had many teachers and students alike scratching their heads. In fact, the question had stirred up so much controversy that the state was considering scratching the question from the exam. You can read more about it here.
Besides keeping up with your pineapples, there are plenty of other duties to attend to while trying to keep the school from going bankrupt. In order to make sure your army of studious pineapples stays sharp, you must create a curriculum and manage your teaching staff.To ensure your students are receiving the best instructions for these tests, you can have a “large group of underpaid teachers” or hire a small group of top rated instructors. You can keep the student body as pineapples and maintain steady good grades or let them turn back into children with a chance of scoring higher marks, but in doing so that means you will have to also put up with their”complicated human” emotions. Who wants to deal with that? If your students aren’t doing well then you have the option of lumping them all together in one room, expelling them, or manipulating their grades to show higher marks. Occasionally you might encounter a disgruntled parent, but why deal with them when you can just ignore them? Sounds like a better solution to me. All of these features are ensured to help you survive the stresses of running your own school or declare bankruptcy which ever comes first.
No Pineapple Left Behind doesn’t have a release date yet, as it is still in its early alpha stages. But expect more updates to this quirky game in the upcoming weeks.